how to “do” self love

the other day i posed the question, how do you “DO” self love?

i think many of us talk about it, but how many of us actually BE about it? what does it mean to DO it? to take ACTION?

i was chatting with a client last week and we spoke about how awareness is the first step, but the only thing that has the power to change anything in our lives is ACTION.

and yet, how many of us are stuck?

aware and stuck.

i have been pondering this conversation and contemplating how i can help.

what’s the catalyst to move from awareness into action?

i recalled that in the past, i have shared with my clients that a very simple way to begin the practice of self love is to think of someone or something that you love and write down 5 ways you treat them.

that list might look like:

i pay attention and really listen when they speak to me

i spend quality, uninterrupted time with them

i honor their needs

i respect their boundaries

i have fun with them and play with them

but this morning, i realized– this list– is the ideal way i’d treat them. it’s how i feel i should treat them.

and then i asked myself a hard question, is it what i DO?

and i’m a bit embarrassed to say, that with the specific person i was thinking of, my honest answer was, “nope.”

here’s how my list would look if we were evaluating my ACTIONS:

i put her after most other things

i am often distracted in our quality time

i am frequently tired when we’re together

i can be lazy and allow things to run on autopilot

i can be impatient and energetically demanding

if this is true, then me telling me to treat myself like someone i love means to put me after everything else, be distracted and not present, be lazy with my care, make thoughtless choices, run myself down, and hold high and unrealistic expectations and throw a fit when they go unmet.

that’s when i realized, THAT is actually the bigger conversation.

many of us will want to

need to

redefine our relationship to LOVE

and, i hear you… HOOOOOWWWWWWWWW?????????

so, here’s my encouragement…

if this applies to you (and i know it won’t apply to everyone), don’t make your ideal list wrong.

explore it.

i believe it’s your inner child speaking. celebrate that– celebrate her.

there is a divine feminine energy in you that longs to nurture and love and care for self and others.

allow that– allow her desires and longings to be exposed.

and then?

pick one thing from your list.

just one.

i know our precious human brain wants to go from not-love to love immediately and zip from a zero to a ten in 0.5 second flat and while all of that is cute, it is unrealistic and not at all sustainable.

so, if you’re committed to implementing actionable self-love, pick one thing.

and then practice.

practice toward others and practice toward self.

and reverse the order.

practice toward self and then practice toward them.

we cannot give what we do not possess.

for me?

i choose “i pay attention and really listen when they speak”.

so, from this place of choice, how can i pay attention and really listen when i speak?

for me, the first step is giving myself a voice.

i’ve begun pausing throughout the day and asking myself, “what do you want right now?” or “what do you need in this moment?” and then i’ve been listening.  

if my back hurts and wants to lie down, i create space for that.  

if my eyes are tired and want to rest, i let that be okay.  

if my body is craving food, i feed her. 

if my heart is longing for connection, i find ways to give that to her.

it’s not hard. but it does take practice.

and i’m worth it.

and so are you.

need tips that are specific to YOU and the unique individual you are? send me an email at michelle@coachmichellemoore.com and lets set up a time to chat.

xo

[2015]

wants upon a time…


i took this picture four years ago⁣
to the day⁣
january 3rd, 2015⁣


i remember this moment⁣
i wanted to capture it⁣


i was sad and pissed⁣
in a good way⁣
fired up⁣
about my own self⁣


i’d been working with a coach…
involved in personal development…
attending live events…
doing all of this for just over a year⁣…
and in this moment…
standing in the kitchen in my condo⁣…

i was done
pretending⁣
faking it⁣
acting like i was happy when i wasn’t⁣
i was done
with the bullsh*t
with MY bullsh*t


annndddd⁣
allow me to be ⁣
REALLY
REALLY
CLEAR⁣


standing there⁣
i didn’t have the answers⁣
i was struggling financially⁣
i was unfulfilled ⁣
i was working in a career i no longer wanted to be in⁣
i was uncertain of my purpose ⁣
i was unsure of my next moves⁣
i had no clarity on the how or the what or any of the specifics ⁣

AND⁣

the first step ⁣
the one i think folks frequently forget about ⁣
the FIRST step⁣
is the one where you get tired of your own bullsh*t

you get tired of hitting the wall you keep hitting⁣
you get tired of the sexy stories (lies)
the lies you’re telling
about how you’re fine
it’s fine
you’re happy
it’s okay
you’re okay⁣
you get tired
of being sick
you get tired⁣
of being so tired

because it’s from THAT point ⁣
that point where you’re done ⁣
that point when you’re really ready to put down the struggle ⁣
it’s from that point⁣
things can change⁣
and by things⁣
i mean ⁣


E  V  E  R  Y  T  H  I N  G⁣


i didn’t know…

four months after i took this pic i’d invest in a coaching certification⁣

i didn’t know…

one year after that i’d be a certified neruotransformational coach

and my friend
i didn’t have the capacity
i lacked the vision
to see that four years after i took this picture i’d be…⁣

happier than i ever imagined was possible⁣
fulfilled at a level i thought someone like me could never reach⁣
so on fire ⁣
fiercely passionate⁣
crazy wild ⁣
courageous⁣
in love with me⁣
in love with life⁣
in love with humanity ⁣
on purpose⁣
deep in my trust and knowingness that i’ve got me⁣


i knew people lived this way⁣
i’d heard of ’em⁣
i’d seen one or two ⁣
but i did not
SHE did not know it was possible for her⁣

she had no clue what was coming for her⁣
and friend, neither do you⁣

my invitation is to get in the work on yourself⁣
invest in your healing ⁣
THAT is what’s necessary⁣
that’s the answer to your struggle ⁣
it may not be the answer you’re looking for ⁣
it may not be the answer you want to hear⁣
but it is the answer⁣
the REAL answer ⁣
there are no shortcuts ⁣
no quick fixes⁣
no one-size-fits-all approach to your UNIQUE self⁣

you’re not broken⁣
you can heal ⁣
you can learn to love and trust yourself⁣
it is possible for someone like you⁣
i promise⁣
but i don’t know any of us⁣
who do it alone⁣

if you want to talk about what that would or could look like, ask⁣

if i’m not the one, find you someone⁣

your future self will thank you⁣


xo