“For what it’s worth, it’s never too late
to be whoever you want to be.”
-F. Scott Fitzgerald
It’s NEVER too late to begin again…
To try something new…
To walk away from your current reality and boldly step into the unknown…
It might be scary, but it’s NEVER too late.
You can create, recreate, write, scribble out, and rewrite your life as many times as you want.
Do not let anyone who gave up on what’s possible for them tell you what you can or cannot do.
What follows are my thoughts on how to go about reinventing the YOU that people know and are “used to” interacting with.
#1 – Decide what you want and what feels in alignment for you NOW
Meaning this moment.
How do you want to show up in the world?
What do you want?
Who do you want to be?
What’s important to you?
What lights you up?
What brings you joy?
What makes you laugh?
What are you doing when you lose all track of time?
What are you talking about when the conversations can go on for hours?
Your answers can be totally different than what excited you a year ago or last month or yesterday or even earlier today.
Choose what YOU want and not what anyone else (including your intimate partner or mom or dad or religious leader or boss) has told you you should want.
We are allowed to evolve into new people again and again and again.
And, if you’re experiencing resistance, I get it.
I used to be super concerned with what other people thought I “should” write about or “should” speak about or “should” do videos about or even what I “should” post or not post on social media.
So, yeah. I’ve definitely been there.
You are allowed to reinvent yourself.
And if you have NO CLUE what you want or what brings you joy, I invite you to start exploring.
Permission to play without the expectation that you have to “get it right”.
#2 – Be patient with yourself
It’s okay if you’re not quite ready yet.
It can be super easy to get frustrated in the interim – the space between.
Stepping into the unknown has the potential to be frightening to our brains.
The truth is, we like comfort.
We like comfort even if that comfort is painful or miserable.
Have you ever heard the phrase, “The devil you know is better than the one you don’t”?
While it may LOGICALLY sound absurd, I want you to know that to your subconscious mind, known misery feels way better than the unknown POSSIBILITY of joy.
I’ve definitely been in that place.
To be honest, I have personally taken as long a a year to fully embody a decision and step forward into taking action on that decision.
I’m not saying you HAVE to take that long, but if you do, it’s okay.
It’s okay because it is.
Your journey is personal and beating yourself up as you walk it out won’t speed it up.
#3 – Recognize that sometimes it’s best to stay quiet and when you’re ready, give notice
In the space of uncertainty it’s easy to find yourself being influenced by the opinions of others.
If you’re uncertain, you’re allowed to stay quiet.
Check in with your heart and listen for the answers.
Sorting through the cacophony of the masses to find your own voice can be practically impossible and at best, it is a tedious and draining process.
It’s much easier to simply NOT invite them into the conversation in the first place.
I remember when I was debating chopping off my hair…
I made a conscious decision to not tell anyone because I didn’t want to hear what they had to say. I wanted to be clear on what Michelle wanted before I invited anyone else into the conversation.
And once I was grounded in what I wanted, well, it became very easy to do what Lisa Nichols says, “Stop asking for permission. Give the world notice.”
#4 – Be willing to outgrow the old version of yourself
The “old you” cannot contain the purpose of the “new you”.
She has to evolve.
To put it another way, if you want to change you are going to have to change.
You have to be willing to release old habits and behaviors that are no longer serving you.
It now becomes a choice of what’s most important.
Here’s what I KNOW to be true:
When the pain of change becomes less than the pain of staying the same, you will change.
And not one single second sooner.
#5 – Other people may be triggered by your decision to change
This isn’t your problem.
When you decide to make a change, it MAY trigger others.
Your courage will potentially highlight the fear and inaction of those around you.
People may not like the “new you”.
They may not embrace your choosing YOU.
They may not like who you’ve decided to become.
They may not be comfortable with who you no longer are.
None of this is your problem.
Marianne Williamson said it best, “Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.”
#6 – Be willing to shift your “sunk cost” mentality
Your investment of time or money is in the past.
It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been the “old you”.
It doesn’t matter how much time or money or energy you’ve spent doing what you “used to” do.
If you’re over it…
If you’re done with the situation…
Be willing to walk away.
It doesn’t matter if you’ve been in your relationship for 20 years.
Or if you’ve invested $100,000.00.
Or if it’s what you got your degree in.
Or if you’ve been with the same company for your whole career.
Or if it’s your family business.
Or if you’ve showed up “this way” for your entire life.
The fact that you’ve invested time or money or energy in something for so long is NOT a reason to stay with someone or something that creates misery in you or no longer is in alignment with who you are.
Before I cut my hair off, my one and only reason for not doing so was because of how long it took me to grow it out.
When I realized that, I made the appointment.
Maya Angelou said it perfectly, “Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.”
Be willing to make a new choice.
And I invite you to choose YOU.
I promise that as you serve the needs and desires of your soul, the flames in the lives of others will be ignited.
I’ve seen it personally.
I’ve experienced it personally.
I KNOW it to be truth.
Your happiness and needs are JUST AS IMPORTANT as the happiness and needs of those around you.
It’s never too late to begin again.
I truly hope you boldly reinvent yourself as many times as necessary.
Have fun with it!
Play until you land with what resonates.
You’ll know it when you arrive there.
And in the meantime, I wish you joy in the interim…