how to “do” self love

the other day i posed the question, how do you “DO” self love?

i think many of us talk about it, but how many of us actually BE about it? what does it mean to DO it? to take ACTION?

i was chatting with a client last week and we spoke about how awareness is the first step, but the only thing that has the power to change anything in our lives is ACTION.

and yet, how many of us are stuck?

aware and stuck.

i have been pondering this conversation and contemplating how i can help.

what’s the catalyst to move from awareness into action?

i recalled that in the past, i have shared with my clients that a very simple way to begin the practice of self love is to think of someone or something that you love and write down 5 ways you treat them.

that list might look like:

i pay attention and really listen when they speak to me

i spend quality, uninterrupted time with them

i honor their needs

i respect their boundaries

i have fun with them and play with them

but this morning, i realized– this list– is the ideal way i’d treat them. it’s how i feel i should treat them.

and then i asked myself a hard question, is it what i DO?

and i’m a bit embarrassed to say, that with the specific person i was thinking of, my honest answer was, “nope.”

here’s how my list would look if we were evaluating my ACTIONS:

i put her after most other things

i am often distracted in our quality time

i am frequently tired when we’re together

i can be lazy and allow things to run on autopilot

i can be impatient and energetically demanding

if this is true, then me telling me to treat myself like someone i love means to put me after everything else, be distracted and not present, be lazy with my care, make thoughtless choices, run myself down, and hold high and unrealistic expectations and throw a fit when they go unmet.

that’s when i realized, THAT is actually the bigger conversation.

many of us will want to

need to

redefine our relationship to LOVE

and, i hear you… HOOOOOWWWWWWWWW?????????

so, here’s my encouragement…

if this applies to you (and i know it won’t apply to everyone), don’t make your ideal list wrong.

explore it.

i believe it’s your inner child speaking. celebrate that– celebrate her.

there is a divine feminine energy in you that longs to nurture and love and care for self and others.

allow that– allow her desires and longings to be exposed.

and then?

pick one thing from your list.

just one.

i know our precious human brain wants to go from not-love to love immediately and zip from a zero to a ten in 0.5 second flat and while all of that is cute, it is unrealistic and not at all sustainable.

so, if you’re committed to implementing actionable self-love, pick one thing.

and then practice.

practice toward others and practice toward self.

and reverse the order.

practice toward self and then practice toward them.

we cannot give what we do not possess.

for me?

i choose “i pay attention and really listen when they speak”.

so, from this place of choice, how can i pay attention and really listen when i speak?

for me, the first step is giving myself a voice.

i’ve begun pausing throughout the day and asking myself, “what do you want right now?” or “what do you need in this moment?” and then i’ve been listening.  

if my back hurts and wants to lie down, i create space for that.  

if my eyes are tired and want to rest, i let that be okay.  

if my body is craving food, i feed her. 

if my heart is longing for connection, i find ways to give that to her.

it’s not hard. but it does take practice.

and i’m worth it.

and so are you.

need tips that are specific to YOU and the unique individual you are? send me an email at michelle@coachmichellemoore.com and lets set up a time to chat.

xo

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[2015]

wants upon a time…


i took this picture four years ago⁣
to the day⁣
january 3rd, 2015⁣


i remember this moment⁣
i wanted to capture it⁣


i was sad and pissed⁣
in a good way⁣
fired up⁣
about my own self⁣


i’d been working with a coach…
involved in personal development…
attending live events…
doing all of this for just over a year⁣…
and in this moment…
standing in the kitchen in my condo⁣…

i was done
pretending⁣
faking it⁣
acting like i was happy when i wasn’t⁣
i was done
with the bullsh*t
with MY bullsh*t


annndddd⁣
allow me to be ⁣
REALLY
REALLY
CLEAR⁣


standing there⁣
i didn’t have the answers⁣
i was struggling financially⁣
i was unfulfilled ⁣
i was working in a career i no longer wanted to be in⁣
i was uncertain of my purpose ⁣
i was unsure of my next moves⁣
i had no clarity on the how or the what or any of the specifics ⁣

AND⁣

the first step ⁣
the one i think folks frequently forget about ⁣
the FIRST step⁣
is the one where you get tired of your own bullsh*t

you get tired of hitting the wall you keep hitting⁣
you get tired of the sexy stories (lies)
the lies you’re telling
about how you’re fine
it’s fine
you’re happy
it’s okay
you’re okay⁣
you get tired
of being sick
you get tired⁣
of being so tired

because it’s from THAT point ⁣
that point where you’re done ⁣
that point when you’re really ready to put down the struggle ⁣
it’s from that point⁣
things can change⁣
and by things⁣
i mean ⁣


E  V  E  R  Y  T  H  I N  G⁣


i didn’t know…

four months after i took this pic i’d invest in a coaching certification⁣

i didn’t know…

one year after that i’d be a certified neruotransformational coach

and my friend
i didn’t have the capacity
i lacked the vision
to see that four years after i took this picture i’d be…⁣

happier than i ever imagined was possible⁣
fulfilled at a level i thought someone like me could never reach⁣
so on fire ⁣
fiercely passionate⁣
crazy wild ⁣
courageous⁣
in love with me⁣
in love with life⁣
in love with humanity ⁣
on purpose⁣
deep in my trust and knowingness that i’ve got me⁣


i knew people lived this way⁣
i’d heard of ’em⁣
i’d seen one or two ⁣
but i did not
SHE did not know it was possible for her⁣

she had no clue what was coming for her⁣
and friend, neither do you⁣

my invitation is to get in the work on yourself⁣
invest in your healing ⁣
THAT is what’s necessary⁣
that’s the answer to your struggle ⁣
it may not be the answer you’re looking for ⁣
it may not be the answer you want to hear⁣
but it is the answer⁣
the REAL answer ⁣
there are no shortcuts ⁣
no quick fixes⁣
no one-size-fits-all approach to your UNIQUE self⁣

you’re not broken⁣
you can heal ⁣
you can learn to love and trust yourself⁣
it is possible for someone like you⁣
i promise⁣
but i don’t know any of us⁣
who do it alone⁣

if you want to talk about what that would or could look like, ask⁣

if i’m not the one, find you someone⁣

your future self will thank you⁣


xo


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is the path you’re walking taking you where you want to go?

just because you’ve been walking the same way on the same path for a looooonnnnnnnnng time, doesn’t mean that path is taking you where you want to go.

it’s possible, that it’s time to change directions.

i’ve been in this super reflective space all week and just an hour or so ago, i threw my 2018 planner in the trashcan.  along with it, i threw my 2017 planner away. yup. i’d been holding onto that as well.  

it’s funny how we keep things because we have convinced ourselves that holding onto something is easier than throwing it out.  

even if it’s no longer fulfilling a purpose… no longer serving us.

dang.  

change requires us to look at how we’re operating.  
our habits
our patterns
our behaviors
our routines
our choices

and after looking, we want to ask ourselves:
“is this serving me?”
“is this working?”
“is this going to take me to this next level?”


and if the answer is “NOPE”, then we owe it to ourselves to make a change.  

so, i’ve been changing.  

i’m replacing habits.
i’m creating new patterns.
i’m practicing new behaviors.
i’m crafting new routines.
i’m making new intentional choices.


here are a few of my personal reflections…



1.  i have a tendency toward complication.  

i’m human so i can (sometimes)  make things harder– more complicated– than they need to be.  

what i know for sure is that life can be complicated.

why on earth would i add to that complication by efforting so hard and making my solutions complicated???

would you like to know what slices through complication 100% of the time?  

simplicity.  



2.  newton’s first law of motion.  

an object at rest stays at rest and an object in motion stays in motion with the same speed and the same direction unless acted upon by an unbalanced force.

here’s what that law means to me:
i’ll continue doing things the same way i’ve always done them unless i choose to intentionally stop and make a change.  

and the way i’ve always done things probably won’t work for me in creating this new life i long to be living; and it certainly won’t lead me down this new path i crave to travel.  

what i’ve done so far has gotten me to where i am so far and if i want to go anywhere different than i am right now, things have to evolve.

i have to be willing to do something new.

i have to be willing to travel somewhere i’ve never traveled before.

i have to be willing to become the woman who will attract my desires.

and that’s much more about UNbecoming who i’m not than it is about BEcoming someone new.



3.  my life is waiting for me. 

and so is yours.  
we’ve got to get in the game.  
we’ve got to participate in the manifestation of our dreams.  

wishing and hoping and praying and meditating are all amazing things to do.  

AND, you’ve gotta back them up with action.  

your life is waiting for YOU to participate.  
your life is waiting for YOU to get off the sidelines.
your life is waiting for YOU to stop talking and start BEing.
your life is waiting for YOU to stop pretending. 
your life is waiting for YOU to say YES. 
your life is waiting for YOU to go all in.
your life is waiting for YOU.  



show up. 
you’re worth it.  
you don’t have to know the details. 
you don’t have to see the answers before you say yes. 
you don’t have to see the path. 
in fact, that request right there?  
it is an impossible request.

and if that’s where you’re stuck, i get it.  i spent much of my life there.  

but the reality is, as my coach says, “there’s no familiar path to a new territory.” 


you can learn to trust yourself to try.  
i know you can because i did. 

if you know you need support and you’re ready to take action, send me an e–mail.  i’d love to set up a time to chat with you.  

happy new year friend.  

xo

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i ran

{i ran}


are you willing
prepared 


you can say yes 
still be scared 


close your eyes if you need to 
it lessens the nausea 
eases the discomfort 
facing truth sometimes causes 


i played 
stayed 
in the dark for years 
comforted by the blackness 
that blocked out 
the madness 
making it safe 
to pretend 


but if you are willing 
to dig in 
reach deep in 
the closet 
feel for the package 
grab it 
let it
grab you


feel its 
roughness 
sharp
jagged edges 


let it slice you open
bleed 
as you 
touch 
the pain 
pull it out 
of the closet
unlock 
unwrap 
uncover
the truth 
inside your package 


feel the terror
stay
don’t let the sting 
scare you away 


stare in 
dig in 
lock eyes 
let the 
truth 
glare back 


it’s okay 
slam it shut 
smack it down
if you can’t
face the reality 
of what 
you see 
reflected 


pretending to be blind
does not mean you cannot see


       swallow hard


slowly 
one eye squeezed shut 
one eye barely 
peeking 
blinking
can i 
is it 
safe 


       shudder
          tremble 
             breathe
                bravely 


slowly reopen 
       breathe


reach in 
both hands 
feel the weight of the truth in your palms
let who you are 
       drip
        off
         of
          your
           fingers 
as you rub you 
on your skin


smear 
mess
pain 
anger
rage
hate
fire
sadness
loneliness
trauma
regret
doubt 
fear 
judgment 


allow your
muddy
murky
messy
beautiful
truth
to seep into your pores
if you can sit with it 
in time it will dry and crack 
in time it will fall away
in time love 
is what will remain


i wasn't always willing 
to sit 
to feel 
discomfort used to be 
a sign
to go  
screaming
STOP 
fleeing 
running 
hiding 
i would 
shove down 
shove 
some
thing
some
one 
into 
my empty space




yesterday i ran in the pouring rain
wailing 
gut wrenching sounds 
emotions sourced from deep places inside 
secret spaces i forgot existed 


i breathed hard 
pushed hard 
i almost puked 
twice


my hair soaked
my body trembling
coughing
cold
gasping


calm
knowing 


i ran 
for a part of me buried 


i ran 
for a woman i have yet to meet


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14 days ’til the new year

new year.

new beginning. 

new chance.

new opportunity.

for what? 

reflection? 

celebration? 

flagellation? 

punishment?

conversations of

what could have

should have

needed to do

yet didn’t get done?

for many of us, the new year represents a time for judgment.  

“geez i really screwed up last year– thank goodness that’s over. i can’t wait to get my clean slate.  as for these last two weeks?  eh. screw it. they’re almost over.  no use trying.”

can you relate?  

if so, congratulations on your humanness.

annnndddddddd…

let’s discuss options: 

1. reflect

i want to invite you to deliberately schedule the time to look back on this past year.  move through the past 12 months slowly.  assess.  NOT judge (yes there is a difference).  

assess your 2018.  

what happened that you loved?  

what happened that you maybe didn’t love so much?  

were there choices or behaviors that you’d repeat?  

habits you want to intentionally create? 

what about any areas where you would choose differently?  

what wins/celebrations did this year bring for you?  

what lessons can you pull from the year?  

again, this is NOT an opportunity to punish.  this is a chance to assess what “worked” or “did not work” in terms of the outcome received. 

since most of us cannot accurately predict the future, there’s no way for us to know what’s going to happen as we’re making our choice in the moment.  and yet we willingly line ourselves up to receive the beating we deem necessary for the “bad” and “poor” choices we’ve made.  

Stop that.  

it is possible to reflect, assess, and make new, intentional choices WITHOUT the punishment and self abuse.



2. decide

what is your intention for this new year?  

how do you want to feel?  

what do you want to create in 2019?  

what’s the energy theme that’s going to drive your new year?  

most of us spend our moments, our hours, our weeks, our months, and our years in reaction-mode. we’re ricocheting like a pinball from one trigger to the next with very little control because we have given barely- if ANY thought to our intentions.

it’s as if we are waiting for external things to happen TO us to tell us how we’re supposed to feel.  

my friend, if we want to be the deliberate creator of our new year, we need to first decide what it is that we want to create.  

3. act 

once you’ve reflected and decided on your intention, now you’ve got to make some moves.  

are there activities, people, circumstances, and/or projects you need to say “yes” or say “no” to?  

are there people you need to add INTO your circle to support your goals and dreams AND are there things you’re doing or people you’re hanging out with who are no longer in alignment?  

i’m not saying kick everyone to the curb, but if you’re serious about your dreams for this new year then you have to be willing to do what’s necessary to achieve them.  there is only so much space and energy in any given day and i invite you to be extremely selective with what you’re allowing in.  

and lastly?  don’t wait.  don’t wait until january 01.  do it now.  create the space in your calendar and make this important.  YOU are important.  if you do not make what is unconscious conscious, it will continue running your life and you?  well, you’ll call it fate.  

   

  i want more for you

   you deserve more 

   you are worthy of a life 

   overflowing with 

   inspiration

   creation

   fun

   

so why wait- even one more day- let alone two weeks to begin experiencing the life you dream of? 

begin your process now.  clear your calendar now.  create space now.   

reflect. 

decide. 

act.  

over and over and over and over and over and over again… 

this is how we create powerful moments, progress driven days, incredible months, and transformational years.  

questions?  

need or want support? 

email me or comment below.

email: michelle@coachmichellemoore.com

happy holiday wishes!

xo

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i don’t know

 

i don’t know

i know

it’s not cute

but it is

a hit

that feeds

the addiction

calms

the twitching

 

that beast within

is becoming extinct

she’s dying

and she’s afraid

so she rages

in her attempts

to cling

to life

she scratches

on occasion

i can smell her fear

 

i know

i no longer

need the sanctuary of that old story

i know

i no longer

need the high of your attention

i know

i no longer

need the protection of my pretending

i don’t know

 

because

the truth is

i do know

the truth

i’m done pretending

i am not

 

she needs me to know me

i get me

she needs me to own me

i got me

she needs me

it’s time

step-up mic-up pen-up speak-up show-up

visible

 

i know

i am

the truth 

i’d been acting 

like i’m not 

 

she is begging

pleading 

stop

pretending

faking

feigning

weakness

ignorance

stupidity

 

but that hit…

of attention

so addictive 

feels

so

very

good 

another hit…

inhale

hold it 

 

feel the 

love

as it courses through my brain

exhale slow

feel the

approval

settling in my veins

 

confirming

validating 

all the things 

i’d been contemplating 

my worthiness

my intelligence

my pretty

my polished

perfection 

good enough 

only is

if you 

please

tell me so 

 

 

my attachment to the entrapment

of my addiction

seductive on the surface

is but an illusion

the comfort is deception

for protection

i no longer need

 

i see me

i am safe

with me

i am safe

i got me

i am safe

 

anchored

supported

held

inside my truth

i can expose myself 

and allow 

you 

to see me

and your experience 

of me

has no power

to hurt me 

that power 

full in me 

is no longer

 

 

 

 

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who are you?

 

my friend…

i wrote this long post on instagram earlier and i’ve spent many moments today questioning.  wondering if maybe the post would’ve been better received had i put it here in the blog. i hear myself silently judging…

maybe it’s too long for the gram.  who is reading all this anyway?  no one cares.  this probably isn’t what they want to see… is it?

jeez.  when i tell myself THAT bullshit, disempowering story there’s only one thing i want to do.

HIDE.

i hear my old inner voice yelling, “retreat!  abort mission!”

the truth is, i am human and as a human, it’s super easy for my old stories to pop up.

i keep reminding myself of this truth while my brain contemplates taking the post down.

but i don’t.

why not?

because i’m experimenting.  i am playing with length, with language, with where and when and how i show up.  and there is no room for judgment in experiments.  just noticing.  then tweaking. then trying again.

plus, my gosh.  who can tell who sees what on social media anymore?!  there is so much out there that if you’re not intentional with deliberately searching for someone and their posts, well– you probably won’t see them.

so here’s what i shared earlier today:

{who am i}
I don’t know ⁣⁣
⁣⁣
You tell me ⁣⁣
I’ll be ⁣⁣
What you need ⁣⁣
Me to be ⁣⁣
To be ⁣⁣
Loved ⁣⁣
⁣⁣
I am ⁣⁣
Who I ⁣⁣
Pretend to be ⁣⁣
Scared to be ⁣⁣
The real me ⁣⁣
Safe ⁣
Under the mask ⁣⁣
I spent my whole life constructing ⁣⁣
⁣⁣
Getting to know ⁣⁣
The woman under ⁣⁣
Cover of protection ⁣⁣
Has been ⁣⁣
Messy⁣⁣
Has felt ⁣
Scary ⁣
I’ve felt ⁣
Angry ⁣
It’s been ⁣
Exquisite ⁣
⁣⁣
You’re in there ⁣⁣
You see ⁣
You’re just ⁣
Buried ⁣⁣
Beneath ⁣
Programmed  ⁣⁣
For protection ⁣⁣
Heart crying⁣⁣
For imperfection ⁣⁣
Soul dying ⁣⁣
For connection ⁣⁣

It is possible to unbecome ⁣⁣
Everything you’re not ⁣⁣
You can let⁣
The layers crumble ⁣
You can take ⁣
The mask off ⁣
You can allow ⁣
Everything you are ⁣⁣
To show ⁣⁣
To shine ⁣⁣
To glow ⁣⁣

Noooo⁣!!!!!!!!!!
They can’t know ⁣
They can’t see ⁣
Me exposed ⁣

⁣Please know⁣⁣
While this may feel scary ⁣⁣
The fear is only temporary ⁣⁣
The pain of pretending ⁣⁣
The weight of the mask ⁣⁣
The effort of the act ⁣⁣
Is slowly killing you ⁣⁣
Crushing your spirit ⁣⁣
Choking off your soul’s song ⁣
⁣⁣
You deserve ⁣
Life unleashed ⁣⁣
Freedom ⁣⁣
Happiness ⁣⁣
Love  ⁣⁣
Real love ⁣
Wild ⁣
Crazy ⁣
Unapologetic ⁣
Authentic ⁣
Deep love ⁣
From the inside out ⁣
⁣⁣
⁣My friend ⁣
You are love ⁣

⁣She is waiting ⁣
For you ⁣
Begging you ⁣
Please ⁣
Come home ⁣⁣

⁣Reunite⁣
With yourself ⁣⁣
By yourself ⁣⁣
Fall⁣
Into yourself ⁣⁣
Surrender ⁣
Trust ⁣
You’ve got you ⁣

for me?

the journey home has been truly magical, beautiful, and an incredible adventure– one i am still traveling.

writing my story has reminded me of so much pain i numbed out and avoided for so many years.

writing my story has also reconnected me to how much i’ve shed and unbecome over the past five years.

my deepest desire is to affirm hope.  wherever you are, whatever you’re going through– when you’re ready, you can heal.

 

you don’t have to pretend.  i promise.  and yet i know.

 

i remember how very alluring and seductive the mask can be and how positively scary the exposure can feel.  i know how terrifying visibility can feel and i know for many of us, our protection is rooted deep and has been for many, many, many years.

 

i don’t expect you to simply read this, rip the mask off, and show up as the real you all the time in every situation.  maybe that’ll be what happens, but if you’re like most of us, it’ll be a process.

 

your unbecoming will be a journey.

 

no matter how long it takes, you’re worth it.

no matter the effort required, you’re worthy.

 

and i’ll tell you what– it’ll probably take a lot less effort and energy and time than you think.

 

if there is anything at all i can do to help support you in the shedding of your layers i hope you’ll reach out.

 

you my sweet friend, you are not alone.

 

 

xo

 

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too much and not enough

 

 

i am a transformational geek.  i get high on facilitating transformation in other humans and i’m addicted to transforming my own life.  because of this, i welcome anything that “triggers” me.

if you’re unfamiliar with the term, what it means to me is anything that “sets me off”.

sets me off in anger, in upset, in irritation, etc..

the thing that comes first?

that is the trigger.

there are definitely positive triggers too.

things that can trigger laughter, joy, peace, etc…

so, this past weekend i’m at a live event to learn and grow in my business and on the second day, i get triggered.

i notice myself becoming concerned with how others are receiving me.

was that too much? maybe i shouldn’t have done that.  maybe i shouldn’t say that. i probably shouldn’t post that.  i need to calm down, reign it in, turn it down a little.  it might be- i might be too much.

i woke up the morning of the second day really inspired. i wanted to share something i’d written in our private facebook group.  instead of simply sharing my writing, i felt the pause of,  “i don’t know… maybe it’s too much.” 

so i didn’t share.

then about an hour later, i said, “you know what? this is valuable, i am proud of it, my heart says GO and i trust that.” 

so i posted it.

about half-way through the day, my coach made a comment that flipped my “too much” trigger and i went online immediately and i took it down.

defeated.

i put on my jacket, my body became tense and my legs started trembling. these are signals i am quite familiar with.

they are my body’s way of shouting, “houston. we have unexpressed emotions!”

we broke for lunch and i was deep in irritation.  i chose to sit in the irritation and not come out for a couple of hours.  as the evening progressed, things loosened up for me and i came back to myself.

the next day i asked for coaching support around the old story that got lit up.

you see, i want to be loved and i know i’m a lot to handle.

i’m a lot.

my personality is big.

my energy is big.

my truth is big.

i feel hard.

i love hard.

i am loud.

i look loud.

i talk loud.

i laugh loud.

i am a lot.

too much maybe…

here’s what i realized.

too much and not enough is the same story.

the SAME story!

unworthy.

and i’ve put that story to bed.  a long time ago.  it’s not my truth anymore.  it’s an OLD story that i was stuck in.  AND, the trigger brought up new awareness.  for that, i am incredibly grateful.

 

here’s what i want you to know.

you are love.

you are light.

don’t ever be afraid to shine.  the sun doesn’t care if she burns you.

people can stay indoors or slather on the spf.

their burn is actually not your responsibility.

but it can feel that way.

it felt that way to me.

but it’s NOT.

your obligation is to be unapologetically you.

that’s where your gifts are.

that’s where your truth is.

if you’re feeling like you can’t.

if you’re afraid who you are will hurt people.

if you’re stuck in “too much”.

if you believe you have to shrink to accommodate the comfort of others.

if you feel like you have to squash your voice or hold back i need you to know — those are lies.

everything that is not love is a lie.

and you my friend.

you are love.

 

xo

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permission to be me

 

i spent years…

so many years…

S O

M A N Y

Y  E  A  R  S

trying to become

working to embody

 

P E R F E C T I O N

 

i’d convinced myself

i fully believed

 

P E R F E C T I O N

 

was the thing

i needed

the finish-line

i had to cross

H  A  D    T  O 

and IF

if

i could cross that line

if

i could make it

i would be

enough

finally

worthy

of attention

of approval

of love

_______

i was exhausted

continually performing

in an act

a show that never closed

but in my quiet moments

alone

behind the curtain

i raged against me

why is nothing working

i was trying to

do right

speak right

look right

be right

 

P  E  R  F  E  C  T

 

_______

i’d perform

then look to you

seeking your applause

searching

for the nod

approval

doing everything i believed was required

to fit

into your version

into your desires

into your belief

into your expectations

of what

of who

of how

i should

be and do

really

my version

my desires

my belief

my expectations

projected

_______

the truth

‘right’ is subjective

it’s relative

and more importantly

what works for you

will not work for me

because i am not you

and i don’t want to be

i want

to be me

_______

my soul

craving

clawing

crying

unleash me

she’d been imprisoned

see

trapped

locked up

by me

and i was looking to you

for the key

seeking permission

to be released

to be free

to be me

to own without apology

the true me

but the permission

i was seeking

had to come from me

you were easier

to blame

to pretend

to make responsible

if you would just give me a break

if you would approve of me

if you would tell me

are you proud of me

you were safer

see

for me

than me

looking to you

i didn’t have to

look to me

go in

turn in

to me

_______

when i went in

when i turned in

when i looked in

when i stopped fighting

against me

when i started fighting

for me

when i gave permission

to me

to be

imperfectly

me

i began loving

me

and i set my soul free

unleashed the real

me

_______

 

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It’s fine. I’m fine.

 

 

When you move to make a change in your life, your unconscious mind will resist.

“Nope.  We are not doing THAT.

She may lash out or rage.

She will dig her heels in.

She will scream.

“This doesn’t feel good!!!! I don’t like this at all!”

She does not, I repeat, does not want to change.

 

This feeling of massive resistance is natural.

It is totally normal.

It is all part of the process of change.

Resistance is embedded in the pavement leading to your dreams. The ONLY way to avoid the resistance is to step off the pavement.

 

Please don’t do that.

Please don’t quit on your dreams.

Most of us, upon feeling the resistance, will judge it as bad.

We’ll say that it’s wrong and assess that it shouldn’t be happening.

 

 

We’ll ask, “How do I stop this and how do I stop it right now????!!!!!!!”

So, we slam on the brakes.

We come to a screeching halt.

We allow our brain to convince us we are “fine”.

We allow our intellect talk us out of our dreams.

My coach implores, “Don’t let your mind convince your heart it’s happy when it’s not.” 

Here’s my invitation:  

Stay.

If you’re committed to doing the work to transform your life and live your dreams, there are going to be times where you feel uncomfortable.

Stay.

You will want to run away.

Stay. 

You might hear, “Psst.  Hide.  Bury it.”

Stay.  

You will feel the temptation to cover up.  You may want to mask with the pretty, polished perfection of “fine” and “good”.

Stay. 

Feel it. Feel all of it.  Feel the temptations.  Feel the resistance.

Sit in your uncomfortableness.  Let it wash over you.  Rub it on your skin.  Let it dry and cake so it may crumble away.

Feel it and stay in it.

Lean in.

And know that sometimes it will feel hard to lean.  I get it.  I’m not saying it’ll be easy.

I am saying, sometimes it will feel hard and I want you to choose to lean in anyway.  Stay anyway.

Change requires we do something new.  Getting out of our comfort zone calls for us to leave our comfort zone; this will require we get uncomfortable.

The uncomfortable feeling?  It’s normal.

You’re doing it right.

Don’t allow your brain to convince you to settle.

Don’t succumb to her lies.

For YEARS I said, “It’s okay. Whatever. It’s fine. I’m fine.” 

 

My growth required me to lift up the mask of perfection and ask myself the tough question:  Are you REALLY “fine”?

And the truth?  I wasn’t f–ing fine.

I’d just gotten used to things.  And that isn’t the same as “fine”.

 

Wanting to smack down the mirror as it’s being held up for you to look in is totally normal.

Want to smack it down and then stay.

It’s not going to be as hard as your brain is trying to convince you it will be.

It’s not going to be as painful as your mind will tell you it will be.

If your unconscious mind is anything like mine, she is a drama queen and a master catastrophizer.

Friends, consider this…

What if your freedom is right there…

So close you could practically touch it…

What if the heat you’re feeling means you’re near…

What if the yelling is loud because you’re so close to your freedom…

What if your doubts are the sign that you’re going in the RIGHT direction…

And you walk away?

 

 

Please don’t give up on yourself and your dreams as you cling to your lie about being fine.

 

 

 

It is absolutely okay to be okay.

But please don’t lie.

You cannot and will not heal what you refuse to look at.

Please let me know how I can best be of support.

You’re worthy.

She’s worth it.

 

xo,

michelle

 

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