Why am I so tired?

 

I don’t understand why I’m so tired…

For years, I needed to find a reason to explain the way I felt. ⁣
ESPECIALLY if the way I felt meant that I didn’t want to work. ⁣
🙋‍♀️ Do you relate?⁣
It was as though the fact that I was feeling tired wasn’t a good enough reason to rest, so I needed to search for some sort of justification. ⁣
I see this a lot with entrepreneurs. ⁣
✅ We have so many tasks⁣
✅ We have multiple things we want to accomplish⁣
✅ There are an unending amount of items to check-off our to do lists⁣
So if we feel *anything* other than work-driven, accomplish all the things, get it done right now, urgent energy…⁣
We feel less than⁣
Worthless
And in order to soothe the guilt that we feel for feeling tired, we search for the justification. ⁣
It is okay for us to rest if we’re sick. We can give ourselves permission to take time off if (and only if) we are ill. ⁣
But what if we ARE tired + we’re NOT sick? ⁣
What if we’re NOT running a fever?⁣
What if we don’t have the flu?⁣
➡️ What if we want to rest because we are exhausted — even if we aren’t able to justify why? ⁣
➡️ What if we felt like we had permission to listen to our bodies without explaining to ourselves or anybody else why we want to do that? ⁣
I know it’s not easy to do because I know that society teaches us something 𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 different. ⁣
Society teaches us that rest is for weak people + reminds us that we can sleep when we’re dead and tells us to just push through and calls us forward to work harder + set bigger goals and GO GO GO GO! ⁣
And society teaches women that they can’t trust themselves or the needs of their bodies and that if we do, we need to have a justifiable explanation. ⁣
So of course we believe we have to explain how we feel. ⁣
👉🏻 There’s nothing wrong with you if you’re not able to rest “guilt-free”. ⁣
👉🏻 The guilt we experience is a normal, conditioned response. ⁣
👉🏻 Your response is a reaction to the programming of our don’t stop can’t stop culture. ⁣
And it’s part of the reason that many of the women I know and work with are…⁣
▪️On the verge of burnout⁣
▪️In desperate need of a break⁣
▪️Overworked⁣
▪️Struggling with autoimmune disease⁣
▪️Overwhelmed⁣
▪️Stressed out⁣
▪️Not asking for help⁣
▪️Telling themselves they can’t slow down⁣
▪️Convinced that nothing will get done if they don’t do it ⁣
▪️Dismissing their own dreams + desires⁣
☝🏻All of it makes sense. ⁣
Until we detox from the programming that has trained us to believe that our work equals our worth, it will not be okay for us to rest. ⁣
The switch is not easy (it took me years!) and for many of us with cultural, generational, and individual traumas, it’s more complex.⁣
BUT IT IS POSSIBLE.
You can begin the process by honoring your body‘s feelings without asking her to justify them.⁣
xo

Winning at all costs

I spent much of my life rushing to a finish line that didn’t exist + while missing the journey that did⁣

I was working for my worthiness like it was a thing waiting for me at the end of my never-ending to do list ⁣

Earlier this year, my body let me know she was done tolerating what she’d been tolerating (amazingly well!) for so many years ⁣

She got sick⁣

My diet had to be completely overhauled, I was in adrenal fatigue + I was realllllll close to walking myself right into an Autoimmune Disease ⁣

See, one of my programmed patterns is to fight — push though⁣

If you’re like me, I know you get it ⁣

I learned this probably in a similar way you learned it… ⁣

By watching + listening to my parents, teachers, leaders + society in general preach the “Work Harder! Do More! Perform Better! Be Stronger!  Win at all costs! There’s only ONE seat at the table!” battle cry⁣

But the ones who sacrificed the most…⁣

They never really won or got that seat because the game they were playing was unending – never over⁣

But that didn’t stop me from trying to be the ONE – the winner they spoke about ⁣

☝🏻 F * * K     T H A T⁣

I could have killed myself and our “perform for your worthiness patriarchal culture” would have stepped right over my dead body + kept on moving ⁣

 

➡️ l needed to learn that I already had that seat I was hoping to earn ⁣

➡️ I needed to learn to choose me instead of waiting to be chosen by them ⁣

➡️ I needed to learn that getting things done was more important than me doing things ⁣

➡️ I needed to learn that collaboration is better than competition ⁣

➡️ I needed to learn that a table with only one seat is a table built on fear⁣

➡️ I needed to learn that rest is as — if not more — important than work⁣

➡️ I needed to learn how to slow down ⁣

➡️ I needed to learn that it could be safe to slow down + I needed to do the work to make it safe⁣ in my body

☝🏻 Those are practices ⁣

Those are practices I practice daily + they are practices I share with the entrepreneurial women I coach ⁣

Look, I get it⁣

⁣It’s hard to relax⁣⁣

You feel guilty + lazy because there’s so much you should be + could be doing⁣


And even on those days where you do choose to take it easy you end up feeling worse than you did before you took the day off so you promise yourself you won’t do that again anytime soon⁣

You tell yourself that you’ll rest after this thing is done or after you take care of this one more task, but there’s always one more task⁣

You tell yourself + others that you’re at the bottom of your to do list when the truth is you’re not even on it ⁣

I know what you’re afraid of⁣

👉🏻 You’re scared if you stop you won’t start up again⁣

👉🏻 You don’t trust yourself or your body ⁣

👉🏻 You’re afraid of losing your edge⁣

It makes sense⁣

After all, this work ethic is why you’re so successful⁣

(or maybe I’m the only one who thought those things + felt that way)⁣

The truth is, my work HAS changed⁣

No longer do I subscribe to the belief that hard work itself makes me intrinsically virtuous or worthy of reward <– as the definition of work ethic explains

AND

That doesn’t mean I don’t work well – I do

Since making these personal transformations…

✅ I’m more productive⁣

✅ I’m more focused ⁣

✅ I’m more creative ⁣

✅ I’m more inspired ⁣

✅ I’m more organized ⁣

✅ I’m more fluid ⁣

☝🏻 And that’s not all…⁣

✅ I begin my days with me, not with work⁣

✅ My sleep patterns + sleep schedule are more consistent ⁣

✅ I have created + upheld boundaries around my time + my calendar

✅ I say “No” without apologizing, guilt + self-shame

✅ I go on weekly dates with my wife ⁣

✅ I play with my puppies ⁣

✅ I go for walks ⁣

✅ I take breaks + naps

✅ I practice yoga ⁣

✅ I practice meditation⁣

✅ I have created rituals I use throughout the day that allow me to remain in the present moment

✅ I’ve stopped multi-tasking (as much 😉)⁣

✅ I am doing what I want to do ⁣

✅ My body is healthy⁣

Friend, if you’ve got yourself convinced that your unrelenting discipline is serving you, I get it⁣

For years you could not have convinced me otherwise + I have no interest in convincing you, but if you’re tired of feeling exhausted, tense, resentful, stressed out, anxious, secretly out of control while pretending to be in control, overwhelmed + in pain, comment below or send me an email

There’s another way⁣
I promise⁣

xx

Go LOVE Yourself !

Self.

self/self/noun

1. a person’s essential being that distinguishes them from others, especially considered as the object of introspection or reflexive action.

Love.

love/ləv/noun

  1. an intense feeling of deep affection.
  2. a great interest and pleasure in something.
  3. a person or thing that one loves.

love/ləv/verb

  1. feel a deep romantic or sexual attachment to (someone).


Self-love feels like one of the most talked about concepts, yet I believe most of us don’t DO self love.

While we are familiar with the notion, for so many of my sisters, self love is simply not an ACTIVE practice.

It sounds good in theory and we read books and burn sage and purchase crystals and get manicures, but when it comes to actually executing an intentional practice…

We say things like, “That’d be nice. I wish I had time for that luxury…”

The truth is, the active practice of self love demands us to shift our seat on our long task list. We have to move ourselves from dead last to first. Self love calls forth a bold declaration from the depths of our soul. An unapologetic battle cry…

“My needs are JUST as important as your needs.”

Because dead last? It is killing us.

We are quick to leap at the opportunity to serve and give and show up for another, but “GASP!” how dare you ask us to show up for ourselves? I mean, we’re soooooooo busy.

The habitual “I’m fine” slowly erodes at our self-esteem and self-worth as we seemingly, suddenly find ourselves angry and resentful waiting for others to give us what we haven’t given ourselves. We’re impatiently waiting for a person or an accomplishment to come along and validate us. And when they don’t? We become irrational and irritable because they haven’t given us what we haven’t asked for and yet believe we are owed.

But friend, it’s you. The love you’re seeking is within. There is NO external source that can love you enough… validate you enough… to satiate the hunger rumbling deep in your belly.

I snapped this picture in April 2018. I was leaving a week long transformational coaching training and it was during this week — just one year ago — that I fell in love with me. I released shame and guilt I’d been carrying for years. I stopped punishing myself and I chose love. Intentionally. I saw the wholeness of who I was and I loved her with the ferocious compassion of a mama bear protecting her cubs.

I didn’t know how

But you showed me

I didn’t know if I could

But you believe in me

I didn’t know I was worthy

But you reminded me

I didn’t know if I was enough

But you lovingly affirmed my truth

I forgot where to look

But then I saw your reflection

It is impossible to love others if we are not actively in love with ourself first. And, if you’re like most people, you are going to have to enlist support in cultivating new habits. We are simply not programmed to choose us.

In “Pussy – A Reclamation” Regena Thomashauer says, “It’s very difficult for us to say yes to our own pleasure. We have no experience prioritizing our own joy or making an investment in ourselves. But it is very easy to say yes to responsibility and obligation.”

This has to change.

It’s time to change.

And, I believe we are most effective in transforming our lives and habits when we have the support of tribe.

My new friend Sharon, the founder of GO LOVE YOURSELF– a self care and self love subscription box- shares the following on her website:

…as March’s featured author Kelly Corrigan notes, “you can’t really be loved if you can’t bear to be really known.”

And you deserve to take the time for yourself to know yourself, and love yourself, to know others, and to love others, and to be known by others, and to be loved by others. You don’t have to go it alone.

Sharon believes that self care is an action and self love is the result. 

Awareness in and of itself doesn’t bring change. Motivation, while fun to experience, doesn’t bring change. What does bring change is ACTION. A commitment to DOING what needs to be done to change our lives and increase our self love and happiness.

As Sharon shares, “if you’re ready to be the change you want to see, take the actions you need to take, do the work, and connect with a group of women who are committed to truly living their best lives, we’re here for you.”

I couldn’t agree more.

Take the first action step in choosing YOU and get yourself the support you’re worthy of.

If you have any questions about the support Sharon provides, feel free to contact her directly through her website: https://www.thegoloveyourselfbox.com/about_us or if you have questions for me, send me an email at: michelle@coachmichellemoore.com.

xo

[2015]

wants upon a time…


i took this picture four years ago⁣
to the day⁣
january 3rd, 2015⁣


i remember this moment⁣
i wanted to capture it⁣


i was sad and pissed⁣
in a good way⁣
fired up⁣
about my own self⁣


i’d been working with a coach…
involved in personal development…
attending live events…
doing all of this for just over a year⁣…
and in this moment…
standing in the kitchen in my condo⁣…

i was done
pretending⁣
faking it⁣
acting like i was happy when i wasn’t⁣
i was done
with the bullsh*t
with MY bullsh*t


annndddd⁣
allow me to be ⁣
REALLY
REALLY
CLEAR⁣


standing there⁣
i didn’t have the answers⁣
i was struggling financially⁣
i was unfulfilled ⁣
i was working in a career i no longer wanted to be in⁣
i was uncertain of my purpose ⁣
i was unsure of my next moves⁣
i had no clarity on the how or the what or any of the specifics ⁣

AND⁣

the first step ⁣
the one i think folks frequently forget about ⁣
the FIRST step⁣
is the one where you get tired of your own bullsh*t

you get tired of hitting the wall you keep hitting⁣
you get tired of the sexy stories (lies)
the lies you’re telling
about how you’re fine
it’s fine
you’re happy
it’s okay
you’re okay⁣
you get tired
of being sick
you get tired⁣
of being so tired

because it’s from THAT point ⁣
that point where you’re done ⁣
that point when you’re really ready to put down the struggle ⁣
it’s from that point⁣
things can change⁣
and by things⁣
i mean ⁣


E  V  E  R  Y  T  H  I N  G⁣


i didn’t know…

four months after i took this pic i’d invest in a coaching certification⁣

i didn’t know…

one year after that i’d be a certified neruotransformational coach

and my friend
i didn’t have the capacity
i lacked the vision
to see that four years after i took this picture i’d be…⁣

happier than i ever imagined was possible⁣
fulfilled at a level i thought someone like me could never reach⁣
so on fire ⁣
fiercely passionate⁣
crazy wild ⁣
courageous⁣
in love with me⁣
in love with life⁣
in love with humanity ⁣
on purpose⁣
deep in my trust and knowingness that i’ve got me⁣


i knew people lived this way⁣
i’d heard of ’em⁣
i’d seen one or two ⁣
but i did not
SHE did not know it was possible for her⁣

she had no clue what was coming for her⁣
and friend, neither do you⁣

my invitation is to get in the work on yourself⁣
invest in your healing ⁣
THAT is what’s necessary⁣
that’s the answer to your struggle ⁣
it may not be the answer you’re looking for ⁣
it may not be the answer you want to hear⁣
but it is the answer⁣
the REAL answer ⁣
there are no shortcuts ⁣
no quick fixes⁣
no one-size-fits-all approach to your UNIQUE self⁣

you’re not broken⁣
you can heal ⁣
you can learn to love and trust yourself⁣
it is possible for someone like you⁣
i promise⁣
but i don’t know any of us⁣
who do it alone⁣

if you want to talk about what that would or could look like, ask⁣

if i’m not the one, find you someone⁣

your future self will thank you⁣


xo


is the path you’re walking taking you where you want to go?

just because you’ve been walking the same way on the same path for a looooonnnnnnnnng time, doesn’t mean that path is taking you where you want to go.

it’s possible, that it’s time to change directions.

i’ve been in this super reflective space all week and just an hour or so ago, i threw my 2018 planner in the trashcan.  along with it, i threw my 2017 planner away. yup. i’d been holding onto that as well.  

it’s funny how we keep things because we have convinced ourselves that holding onto something is easier than throwing it out.  

even if it’s no longer fulfilling a purpose… no longer serving us.

dang.  

change requires us to look at how we’re operating.  
our habits
our patterns
our behaviors
our routines
our choices

and after looking, we want to ask ourselves:
“is this serving me?”
“is this working?”
“is this going to take me to this next level?”


and if the answer is “NOPE”, then we owe it to ourselves to make a change.  

so, i’ve been changing.  

i’m replacing habits.
i’m creating new patterns.
i’m practicing new behaviors.
i’m crafting new routines.
i’m making new intentional choices.


here are a few of my personal reflections…



1.  i have a tendency toward complication.  

i’m human so i can (sometimes)  make things harder– more complicated– than they need to be.  

what i know for sure is that life can be complicated.

why on earth would i add to that complication by efforting so hard and making my solutions complicated???

would you like to know what slices through complication 100% of the time?  

simplicity.  



2.  newton’s first law of motion.  

an object at rest stays at rest and an object in motion stays in motion with the same speed and the same direction unless acted upon by an unbalanced force.

here’s what that law means to me:
i’ll continue doing things the same way i’ve always done them unless i choose to intentionally stop and make a change.  

and the way i’ve always done things probably won’t work for me in creating this new life i long to be living; and it certainly won’t lead me down this new path i crave to travel.  

what i’ve done so far has gotten me to where i am so far and if i want to go anywhere different than i am right now, things have to evolve.

i have to be willing to do something new.

i have to be willing to travel somewhere i’ve never traveled before.

i have to be willing to become the woman who will attract my desires.

and that’s much more about UNbecoming who i’m not than it is about BEcoming someone new.



3.  my life is waiting for me. 

and so is yours.  
we’ve got to get in the game.  
we’ve got to participate in the manifestation of our dreams.  

wishing and hoping and praying and meditating are all amazing things to do.  

AND, you’ve gotta back them up with action.  

your life is waiting for YOU to participate.  
your life is waiting for YOU to get off the sidelines.
your life is waiting for YOU to stop talking and start BEing.
your life is waiting for YOU to stop pretending. 
your life is waiting for YOU to say YES. 
your life is waiting for YOU to go all in.
your life is waiting for YOU.  



show up. 
you’re worth it.  
you don’t have to know the details. 
you don’t have to see the answers before you say yes. 
you don’t have to see the path. 
in fact, that request right there?  
it is an impossible request.

and if that’s where you’re stuck, i get it.  i spent much of my life there.  

but the reality is, as my coach says, “there’s no familiar path to a new territory.” 


you can learn to trust yourself to try.  
i know you can because i did. 

if you know you need support and you’re ready to take action, send me an e–mail.  i’d love to set up a time to chat with you.  

happy new year friend.  

xo