Awhile ago I shared the following on Facebook:
Listen.
It’s NEVER too late to begin again…
To try something new…
To walk away from your current reality and boldly step into the unknown…
It might be scary, but it’s NEVER too late.
You can create, recreate, write, scribble out, and rewrite your life as many times as you want.
Do not let anyone who gave up on what’s possible for them tell you what you can or cannot do.
BUT HOWWWWWWW??????????????”
What follows are my thoughts on how to go about reinventing the YOU that people know and are “used to” interacting with.
1. Decide what you want and what feels in alignment for you NOW.
Now.
Meaning this moment.
What do you want?
Who do you want to be?
How do you want to show up in the world?
What’s important to you?
What lights you up?
What brings you joy?
What makes you laugh?
What are you doing when you lose all track of time?
What are you talking about when the conversations can go on for hours?
I hereby give you permission to have your answers be totally different than what excited you a year ago or last month or yesterday or even earlier today.
I hereby give you permission to choose what YOU want and not what anyone else (including your intimate partner or mom or dad or religious leader or boss) has told you you should want.
I hereby give you permission to evolve into a new person by unbecoming all that you’re not. I shared an image on Instagram that sums this up perfectly, “Just because you used to be doesn’t mean you have to be.”
But.
If you’re experiencing resistance, I get it.
I used to be super concerned with what other people thought I “should” write about or “should” speak about or “should” do videos about or even what I “should” post or not post on social media.
So, yeah. I’ve definitely been there.
Until now.
Now?
Well, I care deeply for others, but I no longer give a f*ck.
I am unleashed and I will no longer hold myself back.
I will no longer allow myself to be chained by the expectations of what others think is best for me or what they believe I should or should not be doing.
In fact, I recently recorded a video on this exact topic. Message me if you haven’t seen it and want to.
So, again…
You are allowed to reinvent yourself.
And if you have NO CLUE what you want or what brings you joy, I invite you to set up a free consultation call with a coach. Personally, I’d be more than willing to support you in the process of tapping into your deep desires.
2. Be patient with yourself. It’s okay if you’re not quite ready yet.
It can be super easy to get frustrated in the interim.
The space between.
Stepping into the unknown has the potential to be frightening to our brains. The truth is, we like comfort.
We like comfort even if that comfort is painful or miserable.
Have you ever heard the phrase, “The devil you know is better than the one you don’t”?
While it may LOGICALLY sound absurd, I want you to know that to your subconscious mind, known misery feels way better than the unknown POSSIBILITY of joy.
I get it.
I’ve been in that place.
To be honest, I have personally taken as long a a year to fully embody a decision and step forward into taking action on that decision.
I’m not saying you HAVE to take that long, but if you do, it’s okay.
It’s okay because it is.
Your journey is personal and beating yourself up as you walk it out won’t speed it up.
3. Recognize that sometimes it’s best to stay quiet and when you’re ready, give notice.
In the space of uncertainty it’s easy to find yourself being influenced by the opinions of others.
If you’re uncertain, keep your mouth shut.
Sit still.
Meditate.
Check in with your heart and listen for the answers.
YOUR answers.
Sorting through the cacophony of the masses to find your own voice can be practically impossible and at best, it is a tedious and draining process.
It’s much easier to simply NOT invite them into the conversation in the first place.
I remember when I was debating chopping off my hair…
I made a conscious decision to not tell anyone because I didn’t want to hear what they had to say. I wanted to be clear on what Michelle wanted before I invited anyone else into the conversation.
And once I was grounded in what I wanted, well, it became very easy to do what Lisa Nichols says, “Stop asking for permission. Give the world notice.”
4. Be willing to let go of the “old you” and her BS stories.
Oftentimes a part of you has to die.
Not literally, but figuratively.
The “old you” cannot contain the purpose of the “new you”.
She has to evolve.
To put it another way, if you want to change you are going to have to change.
You have to be willing to release old habits and behaviors that are no longer serving you.
It now becomes a choice of what’s most important.
Now.
Here’s what I KNOW to be true:
When the pain of change becomes less than the pain of staying the same, you will change. And not one single second sooner.
5. Other people may be triggered by your decision. This isn’t your problem.
Be clear.
When you decide to make a change, it MAY trigger others.
Your courage will potentially highlight the fear and inaction of those around you.
People may not like the “new you”.
They may not embrace your choosing YOU.
They may not like who you’ve decided to become.
They may not be comfortable with who you no longer are.
None of this is your problem.
Marianne Williamson said it best, “Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.”
Again.
Care deeply. And, don’t give a f*ck.
6. Be willing to shift your “sunk cost” mentality. Your investment of time or money is in the past.
It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been the “old you”?
It doesn’t matter how much time or money or energy you’ve spent doing what you “used to” do.
If you’re over it
If you’re done with the situation
Be willing to walk away.
It doesn’t matter if you’ve been in your relationship for 20 years.
Or if you’ve invested $100,000.00.
Or if it’s what you got your degree in.
Or if you’ve been with the same company for your whole career.
Or if it’s your family business.
Or if you’ve showed up “this way” for your entire life.
The fact that you’ve invested time or money or energy in something for so long is NOT a reason to stay with someone or something that creates misery in you or no longer is in alignment with who you are.
Before I cut my hair off, my one and only reason for not doing so was because of how long it took me to grow it out.
When I realized that, I made the appointment.
Maya Angelou said it perfectly, “Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.”
Be willing to make a new choice.
I want to invite you choose YOU.
I promise that as you serve the needs and desires of your soul, the flames in the lives of others will be ignited.
I’ve seen it personally.
I’ve experienced it personally.
I KNOW it to be truth.
Your happiness and needs are JUST AS IMPORTANT as the happiness and needs of those around you. And if that sentence creates any sort of irritation internally or brings up immediate resistance, please message me. I’d love to chat with you.
It’s never too late to begin again.
I truly hope you boldly reinvent yourself as many times as necessary.
Have fun with it!
Play until you land with what resonates.
You’ll know it when you arrive there.
But in the meantime
the interim…
enjoy your journey!
xo,
Michelle
My growth required me to lift up the mask of perfection and ask myself the tough question: Are you REALLY “fine”?
