Your body’s needs ARE your schedule

Your body’s needs aren’t an interruption to your schedule, they ARE your schedule

I got sick 2 days before Christmas.

Getting sick was NOT in my calendar. ⁣

In the past, I would have pushed through. ⁣

I would have forced my body to do the things I had scheduled because I used to believe that my schedule was more important than my body’s needs.⁣

This time, I surrendered. ⁣

My body’s needs became my schedule. ⁣

I listened as she said, “Michelle, we’re not well and we need to rest.” 

I said, “Okay.” and I slept. ⁣

I did nothing other than rest. ⁣

I had brief moments of consciousness + then I would go back to sleep. ⁣

For 2 days I didn’t answer texts or calls, I cancelled appointments + plans with family, I didn’t read or do any work. ⁣

I just slept. ⁣

I didn’t try to force her into action and I didn’t shame her for messing up my plans. ⁣

I gave her what she needed and today she woke up feeling better. ⁣

And when I woke up, I didn’t tell her she needed to get to work to “make up for the time off”. ⁣

Which I used to do.⁣

Instead, I have trusted her + I have allowed her to lead. ⁣

What does she want? We do that. ⁣

After 3 days “off”, I have allowed her to sit outside, read, write, paint, play guitar, and move at her pace.⁣

Here’s what I know…⁣

When we give our body what she needs but then tell her she “owes” us for the missed time, we are shaming ourselves for the nurturing we needed. ⁣

The love and care we showed were conditional. ⁣

When we do this, over time, we train ourselves to believe that it’s easier to not give ourselves what we need because we always feel like sh*t afterward. ⁣

The shame is why we feel like sh*t. ⁣

We’re conditioned to believe that we should feel bad because we “indulged” in time off. ⁣

This perpetuates the lie that taking care of ourselves is a vacation of sorts and therefore something we need to earn. ⁣

It’s BS. ⁣

What if there was no “making up for lost time”? ⁣

What if the time wasn’t lost? ⁣

What if we met ourselves in this present moment and made a choice in this present moment of what it is we desire + moved from that place without the pressure and punishment of what we chose the days prior? ⁣

If you’re in the cycle of working to the point of exhaustion, taking time off because you are sick and have no other choice + then beating yourself up for taking the time off and forcing yourself to work overtime to “make up” for the time you took off, you’re like most of the women I work with. ⁣

I get it. ⁣

I functioned that way for years. I thought it was normal.⁣

And I guess it is normal in a society where we are conditioned to believe that slowing down is weak + that our work equals our worth. ⁣

☝🏻 This is why we have humans who fear falling behind, who are scared of silence and terrified of the consequences of choosing sacred self-care over work. ⁣

The belief that both can live together feels like a fantasy. And a risky one at that. ⁣

Detoxing yourself from the programming that profits from you working in fear can take time. ⁣

It’s a practice friends. ⁣

Realizing you’re in the pattern in the first step. ⁣

xx

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