Why are you doing what you’re doing?

It's not about WHAT you're doing, it's about WHY you're doing it it is super easy for us to judge others based on the things we see them doing (or not)...   we often judge based on comparisons of what WE like and what is working or has worked for US...   things like:   + how they care for themselves + their work ethic + their relationship to food or alcohol + how and whom they date + their sex life and choice of partner(s) + how much rest...

Just because you’re not dealing with it doesn’t mean you’re not dealing with it

Fine is not a feeling   full speed ahead 24/7/365 causes crashes   i know because i've been on the floor more than once i've lost my sh*t so many times i stopped counting i've cried hysterically after screaming at the top of my lungs when something didn't go my way or plans changed i've been so tense my muscles forgot how to relax i've clawed at my skin to hold down the rage   but you didn't know i wouldn't let you know on the outside i...

[ < firestarter > ]

the cannibalistic cycle ⁣⁣of miserable determination ⁣⁣consumed by the me ⁣⁣i now be ⁣⁣⁣⁣the fire ⁣⁣still alive in me ⁣⁣transformed ⁣⁣by me⁣⁣the scathing, self-loathing ⁣⁣giving birth to the breath ⁣⁣of liberation ⁣⁣⁣⁣finally willing to feel ⁣⁣the flames ⁣⁣allowing them to melt ⁣⁣all of the me ⁣⁣i spent my life⁣⁣pretending to be ⁣⁣the pretty me⁣⁣the polished...

Your dreams are dying because of the life you’re not living

Desires. For so long I pretended I was unworthy. Like I had to do more and be more to earn the right to want. Ugh. "Earn the right to want..." The law had been written and I had declared, "I never was nor would I ever be enough." I had crowned myself "unworthy" and so it was. Eventually, I stopped wanting. It wasn't safe. It was too risky. My dreams and desires were trapped. Locked inside my soul, fighting to come out-- to come alive. Longing...

The 5 main ingredients to an incredible support system

You are worthy of world-class support support: give assistance to; to give encouragement to someone or something because you want him, her, or it to succeed; suggest the truth of. friend, we're not supposed to do this whole "life" thing alone. but, if you're anything like the me i used to be, asking for help can feel super hard to do. it sounds easy enough in theory, but in real life? practically impossible. i felt like being able to do it...

Who are you?

Be careful who you pretend to be because in all your acting, you may lose sight of who you are my friend... i wrote this long post on instagram earlier and i've spent many moments today questioning.  wondering if maybe the post would've been better received had i put it here in the blog. i hear myself silently judging... maybe it's too long for the gram.  who is reading all this anyway?  no one cares.  this probably isn't what they want to...

Programmed to perform

This image effects me in a deep way... There is a tightening in my jaw. A tension in my neck. A dull, but present ache in my chest. Once I allowed the sadness to come and wash over me, I sat with my truth. The truth of what I saw in this picture. A version of my punisher. The part of me that does not like me. The part of me who spent years telling me that I would be worthy and valuable if - and only if - I achieved perfection. The part of me...

7 steps to get back to self-care

Insignificant: too small or unimportant to be worth consideration I was with this heavy, gnawing, nagging feeling last week.  It stayed with me for most of the day on Tuesday. Okay, to be honest, I’m probably being a tad bit dramatic. It wasn't MOST of the day, but it was present. It was weighing me down and I didn't like how I was feeling. It was at about 9:30pm that evening when I connected with the actual feeling. I felt insignificant....

3 lessons from losing my voice

It began early Saturday morning.  I noticed that it hurt a little when I swallowed. Now, 6 days later, when I open my mouth no words come out. I am unable to recall the last time I was physically unable to speak. Even if I try, there are no words and it sucks.  It sucks big time. It's scary and a bit demoralizing. But, as find myself forced into this silence, I notice there is a lot bubbling up emotionally. So, I made a choice. A choice to...

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