Are you waiting to be chosen?

If I abandon my authentic self in an attempt to be chose, even if they choose me…

I will KNOW it wasn’t me they chose. ⁣

This can lead to anger, resentment, sadness + depression. ⁣

Here’s how it showed up for me…⁣

  • I didn’t set or honor my boundaries ⁣
  • I felt obligated to say yes when I wanted to say no ⁣
  • I was afraid to slow down — let alone stop⁣
  • I was demanding perfection from myself⁣
  • I was using my inner critic as my main motivator ⁣
  • I sacrificed myself, my needs, my desires⁣
  • I had no hobbies ⁣
  • I stopped playing ⁣
  • I stopped dreaming ⁣
  • I wasn’t sleeping well⁣
  • I felt low-grade sick all the time⁣
  • I fluctuated between sad + resentful ⁣

    I was stuck in a matrix of my own making; the pattern perpetuating the story that who I was as I was simply was not good enough. ⁣

    The cycle of self-abandonment in search of love + approval was never going to be fulfilling because when they loved me, they loved who I wasn’t. ⁣

    Why do we do this?

    Because we are smart + adaptive human beings with brilliant brains designed to keep us alive. ⁣

    We learn how to get our needs met. ⁣

    Once I understood that I was living my life in response to the traumas I experienced, in protection of them ever happening again, adapting for my survival… ⁣

    I wanted to shout from the rooftops, “From now on, I’m choosing me!” 

    No longer did I want to live life stuck in the cycle of self-abandonment. ⁣

Let’s DO this! ⁣

I was ready. ⁣

Yet I resisted. ⁣

For years. ⁣

I knew what to do + I wasn’t doing it. ⁣⁣


Gahhhhhh!!!! What is wrong with me???

I must have asked that question a few thousand times. ⁣

Here’s the answer if you’re asking the same… ⁣

Not one damn thing. ⁣

Nothing was wrong with me + nothing is wrong with you. ⁣

Boldly declaring, “I choose me!” will feel terrifying to a system who has survived by doing the opposite for most of its life. ⁣

You may know that you NEED TO make a new choice. ⁣

You may know that you WANT TO. ⁣

But until your internal systems… ⁣

Until your body feels safe to do so… ⁣

You won’t. ⁣

Friend, I’m telling you from experience, you cannot — you will not — willpower your way out of this one. ⁣


You can learn how to create safety from the inside out⁣
You can cultivate self-trust ⁣
You can heal your relationship with your reflection⁣
You can come home to yourself ⁣

And when you do, you will no longer feel the need to chase the choosing + change to be chosen.⁣

This is the work I practice. ⁣
This is the work I teach. ⁣

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