Allowing the emergence of who you are becoming

Your circumstances will conspire to support your growth I’ve been practicing taking up space in my life by not showing up in many of the places where I am in the habit of showing up. ⁣ Friday afternoon the line to our WiFi was cut. No WiFi = no internet ⁣ I work from home so this means no email, no zoom, no YouTube, no access to online documents and projects, and no access to social media which IS part of my job. ⁣Since Friday...

You can unlearn their stories

It’s real easy for me to seek outside myself for the answers. What should I wear? What should I say? What books should I read? What should I eat? What course should I take? Who should I follow? What should I study? Who should I trust?My questions all some version of “What’s the right thing to do?”One of my biggest drivers is to not be wrong.In that state, I was at the mercy of everyone else while simultaneously reinforcing the (total...

Why am I so tired?

I don't understand why I'm so tired... ⁣ For years, I needed to find a reason to explain the way I felt. ⁣ ⁣ ESPECIALLY if the way I felt meant that I didn’t want to work. ⁣ ⁣ Do you relate?⁣ ⁣ It was as though the fact that I was feeling tired wasn’t a good enough reason to rest, so I needed to search for some sort of justification. ⁣ ⁣ I see this a lot with entrepreneurs. ⁣ ⁣ We have so many tasks⁣ ⁣ We have...

Sabotage is a solution

The ones I loved were watching me destroy myself and declare it was in service to them If our needs are unmet as children, we can develop a belief that we are unworthy of being taken care of.    ⁣We create this belief because as small children, we think that everything happening in our environment is a reflection of us.⁣⁣So if our needs are unmet, we make it mean that it's happening because there is something wrong with us.⁣When I...

Why are you doing what you’re doing?

It's not about WHAT you're doing, it's about WHY you're doing it it is super easy for us to judge others based on the things we see them doing (or not)...   we often judge based on comparisons of what WE like and what is working or has worked for US...   things like:   + how they care for themselves + their work ethic + their relationship to food or alcohol + how and whom they date + their sex life and choice of partner(s) + how much rest...

Just because you’re not dealing with it doesn’t mean you’re not dealing with it

Fine is not a feeling   full speed ahead 24/7/365 causes crashes   i know because i've been on the floor more than once i've lost my sh*t so many times i stopped counting i've cried hysterically after screaming at the top of my lungs when something didn't go my way or plans changed i've been so tense my muscles forgot how to relax i've clawed at my skin to hold down the rage   but you didn't know i wouldn't let you know on the outside i...

[ < i don't know > ]

i don't know i know it's not cute but it is a hit that feeds the addiction calms the twitching that beast within is becoming extinct she's dying and she's afraid so she rages in her attempts to cling to life she scratches on occasion i can smell her fear i know i no longer need the sanctuary of that old story i know i no longer need the high of your attention i know i no longer need the protection of my pretending i don't know because the...

Programmed to perform

This image effects me in a deep way... There is a tightening in my jaw. A tension in my neck. A dull, but present ache in my chest. Once I allowed the sadness to come and wash over me, I sat with my truth. The truth of what I saw in this picture. A version of my punisher. The part of me that does not like me. The part of me who spent years telling me that I would be worthy and valuable if - and only if - I achieved perfection. The part of me...

How to be empowered NOW

"I have a past, but I don't live there anymore."   Earlier today I heard my coach say, "If you really are committed to producing the kind of future that you want; don't stand in judgment of the past that you didn't want.  It doesn't work that way." I remember the first time I was exposed to this idea.  It was 2016 and I was in the room at a week long coaching certification being held in Los Angeles. I was pretty stuck in my attachment to...

My hate/love relationship with my body & working out

At the beginning of this month, I made a commitment to begin working out. Again. I had been doing yoga {inconsistently}, but I had stopped doing cardio and lifting weights. Part of this was intentional and part of it seemed to slip away without my noticing. Has this ever happened to you? One day you wake up and you realize you're no longer doing something you used to do? It's like, "Wait... When did that stop????" You may or may not know this,...

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