You can unlearn their stories

It’s real easy for me to seek outside myself for the answers. What should I wear? What should I say? What books should I read? What should I eat? What course should I take? Who should I follow? What should I study? Who should I trust?My questions all some version of “What’s the right thing to do?”One of my biggest drivers is to not be wrong.In that state, I was at the mercy of everyone else while simultaneously reinforcing the (total...

Whatever it takes

You will miss the journey in your race to the finish line I spent much of my life rushing to a finish line that didn’t exist + while missing the journey that did⁣⁣I was working for my worthiness like it was a thing waiting for me at the end of my never-ending to do list ⁣⁣Earlier this year, my body let me know she was done tolerating what she’d been tolerating (amazingly well!) for so many years ⁣⁣She got sick⁣⁣My diet had...

Why are you doing what you’re doing?

It's not about WHAT you're doing, it's about WHY you're doing it it is super easy for us to judge others based on the things we see them doing (or not)...   we often judge based on comparisons of what WE like and what is working or has worked for US...   things like:   + how they care for themselves + their work ethic + their relationship to food or alcohol + how and whom they date + their sex life and choice of partner(s) + how much rest...

Just because you’re not dealing with it doesn’t mean you’re not dealing with it

Fine is not a feeling   full speed ahead 24/7/365 causes crashes   i know because i've been on the floor more than once i've lost my sh*t so many times i stopped counting i've cried hysterically after screaming at the top of my lungs when something didn't go my way or plans changed i've been so tense my muscles forgot how to relax i've clawed at my skin to hold down the rage   but you didn't know i wouldn't let you know on the outside i...

[ < numb > ]

⁣⁣⁣⁣ unfortunately ⁣we have become ⁣⁣⁣⁣a comfortably numb⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣zombie ⁣⁣⁣society ⁣⁣⁣of addicts ⁣⁣⁣⁣chugging down⁣⁣⁣⁣our cough medicine ⁣⁣⁣⁣of choice ⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣terrified to ⁣⁣feel ⁣⁣unwilling to ⁣⁣confront ⁣⁣our pain ⁣⁣⁣⁣terrified of ⁣our unapologetic⁣wild passion⁣⁣⁣lives spent ⁣⁣committed to ⁣⁣⁣⁣dulling ⁣⁣the truth...

Wants upon a time…

I took this picture four years ago⁣to the day⁣January 3rd, 2015⁣⁣I remember this moment⁣I wanted to capture it⁣⁣I was sad and pissed⁣in a good way⁣Fired up⁣ about my own self⁣⁣I'd been working with a coach...Involved in personal development...Attending live events...Doing all of this for just over a year⁣...And in this moment...Standing in the kitchen in my condo⁣...⁣I was done pretending⁣faking it⁣acting like...

[ < i don't know > ]

i don't know i know it's not cute but it is a hit that feeds the addiction calms the twitching that beast within is becoming extinct she's dying and she's afraid so she rages in her attempts to cling to life she scratches on occasion i can smell her fear i know i no longer need the sanctuary of that old story i know i no longer need the high of your attention i know i no longer need the protection of my pretending i don't know because the...

Who are you?

Be careful who you pretend to be because in all your acting, you may lose sight of who you are my friend... i wrote this long post on instagram earlier and i've spent many moments today questioning.  wondering if maybe the post would've been better received had i put it here in the blog. i hear myself silently judging... maybe it's too long for the gram.  who is reading all this anyway?  no one cares.  this probably isn't what they want to...

[ < permission to be me > ]

i spent years... so many years... S O M A N Y Y  E  A  R  S trying to become working to embody P E R F E C T I O N i'd convinced myself i fully believed P E R F E C T I O N was the thing i needed the finish-line i had to cross H  A  D    T  O  and IF if i could cross that line if i could make it i would be enough finally worthy of attention of approval of love i was exhausted continually performing in an act a show that never closed...

You can’t change what you won’t look at

When you move to make a change in your life, your unconscious mind will resist. "Nope.  We are not doing THAT." She may lash out or rage. She will dig her heels in. She will scream. "This doesn't feel good!!!! I don't like this at all!" She does not, I repeat, does not want to change. This feeling of massive resistance is natural. It is totally normal. It is all part of the process of change. Resistance is embedded in the pavement leading to...

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