Just because you’re not dealing with it doesn’t mean you’re not dealing with it

Fine is not a feeling   full speed ahead 24/7/365 causes crashes   i know because i've been on the floor more than once i've lost my sh*t so many times i stopped counting i've cried hysterically after screaming at the top of my lungs when something didn't go my way or plans changed i've been so tense my muscles forgot how to relax i've clawed at my skin to hold down the rage   but you didn't know i wouldn't let you know on the outside i...

How to stop caring what other people think

Care about other people's approval, and you will always be their prisoner. -Lao Tzu people frequently ask me this question: how do i stop giving a sh*t about what other people think? my answer? you can't. i kid. but not really. the truth is, anyone who isn't a sociopath is going to care what other people think. so, the question is flawed. i'll explain. i have a friend who acts without attachment to the opinions of others. i have always viewed...

3 steps to ease into new beginnings

For last year's words belong to last year's language, and next year's words await another voice. -TS Eliot new year. new beginning.  new chance. new opportunity.   for what?  reflection?  celebration?  flagellation?  punishment? conversations of what could have should have needed to do yet didn't get done? for many of us, the new year represents a time for judgment.   "geez i really screwed up last year-- thank goodness that's over....

[ < i don't know > ]

i don't know i know it's not cute but it is a hit that feeds the addiction calms the twitching that beast within is becoming extinct she's dying and she's afraid so she rages in her attempts to cling to life she scratches on occasion i can smell her fear i know i no longer need the sanctuary of that old story i know i no longer need the high of your attention i know i no longer need the protection of my pretending i don't know because the...

Who are you?

Be careful who you pretend to be because in all your acting, you may lose sight of who you are my friend... i wrote this long post on instagram earlier and i've spent many moments today questioning.  wondering if maybe the post would've been better received had i put it here in the blog. i hear myself silently judging... maybe it's too long for the gram.  who is reading all this anyway?  no one cares.  this probably isn't what they want to...

You can’t change what you won’t look at

When you move to make a change in your life, your unconscious mind will resist. "Nope.  We are not doing THAT." She may lash out or rage. She will dig her heels in. She will scream. "This doesn't feel good!!!! I don't like this at all!" She does not, I repeat, does not want to change. This feeling of massive resistance is natural. It is totally normal. It is all part of the process of change. Resistance is embedded in the pavement leading to...

Programmed to perform

This image effects me in a deep way... There is a tightening in my jaw. A tension in my neck. A dull, but present ache in my chest. Once I allowed the sadness to come and wash over me, I sat with my truth. The truth of what I saw in this picture. A version of my punisher. The part of me that does not like me. The part of me who spent years telling me that I would be worthy and valuable if - and only if - I achieved perfection. The part of me...

My hate/love relationship with my body & working out

At the beginning of this month, I made a commitment to begin working out. Again. I had been doing yoga {inconsistently}, but I had stopped doing cardio and lifting weights. Part of this was intentional and part of it seemed to slip away without my noticing. Has this ever happened to you? One day you wake up and you realize you're no longer doing something you used to do? It's like, "Wait... When did that stop????" You may or may not know this,...

Permission to be a work in progress

Permission to be a work in progress. This week I was on a call with my coach where he asked me directly, “What growth activities have you been doing since we last connected?” Me:  "Um, what are growth activities?" Him:  "The activities that are going to launch your business forward.  There really aren’t that many.  It could be 1:1 coaching calls, speaking, or calling people to book 1:1 calls and/or speaking opportunities.  What...

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