Tag: sabotage

Problem or Possibility?

It's easy to fixate on our problems. ⁣ We ask ourselves and others, “Why is this a problem or Why do I have this problem or What is at the root of this problem???” ⁣ We tell ourselves on repeat that there is something wrong that we need to understand in order to move away from this problem we have that we don’t understand. ⁣ We convince ourselves that the moment we DO understand, we’ll be able to move on.⁣ I get it. ⁣ I did...

You can unlearn their stories

It’s real easy for me to seek outside myself for the answers. What should I wear? What should I say? What books should I read? What should I eat? What course should I take? Who should I follow? What should I study? Who should I trust?My questions all some version of “What’s the right thing to do?”One of my biggest drivers is to not be wrong.In that state, I was at the mercy of everyone else while simultaneously reinforcing the (total...

Just because you’re not dealing with it doesn’t mean you’re not dealing with it

Fine is not a feeling   full speed ahead 24/7/365 causes crashes   i know because i've been on the floor more than once i've lost my sh*t so many times i stopped counting i've cried hysterically after screaming at the top of my lungs when something didn't go my way or plans changed i've been so tense my muscles forgot how to relax i've clawed at my skin to hold down the rage   but you didn't know i wouldn't let you know on the outside i...

Why hire a guide?

We all do better with a guide ⁣In this article I want to address a few of the frequently asked questions about "coaching"   What exactly is a "coach"? ⁣ Why would I need a coach? ⁣ Who hires a coach? ⁣ Are people who hire coaches messed up? ⁣ Does it cost a lot of money to hire a coach? ⁣ What do coaches DO exactly? ⁣ ⁣⁣ What exactly is a coach? ⁣ ⁣A coach is someone who pushes you, challenges you, provokes you, holds...

You can’t change what you won’t look at

When you move to make a change in your life, your unconscious mind will resist. "Nope.  We are not doing THAT." She may lash out or rage. She will dig her heels in. She will scream. "This doesn't feel good!!!! I don't like this at all!" She does not, I repeat, does not want to change. This feeling of massive resistance is natural. It is totally normal. It is all part of the process of change. Resistance is embedded in the pavement leading to...

Programmed to perform

This image effects me in a deep way... There is a tightening in my jaw. A tension in my neck. A dull, but present ache in my chest. Once I allowed the sadness to come and wash over me, I sat with my truth. The truth of what I saw in this picture. A version of my punisher. The part of me that does not like me. The part of me who spent years telling me that I would be worthy and valuable if - and only if - I achieved perfection. The part of me...

3 lessons from my new home

"Happiness is found on the way, not at the end of the road." We recently moved into a new home. And, a new home = lots of projects. So, here's what's been happening in my world as of late.... Every.  And, I mean EVERY project we have started has taken waaaay longer and required more than we anticipated. More shopping More time More effort Go on and gift yourself some celebration. You deserve it. Look at how much you have done, how much you...

Self-loathing to celebration [my journey]

Self loathing. I wasn't born hating myself and honestly, I don't remember the exact moment that it started. My best guess is that it happened slowly. An unfolding over the course of many many years, events, and small, seemingly insignificant, moments and conversations. All leading up to the day where I couldn't look at myself in the mirror. I felt unworthy. I felt hard to love. I was stuck and I couldn't see it. What I could see was my behavior....

3 lessons from losing my voice

It began early Saturday morning.  I noticed that it hurt a little when I swallowed. Now, 6 days later, when I open my mouth no words come out. I am unable to recall the last time I was physically unable to speak. Even if I try, there are no words and it sucks.  It sucks big time. It's scary and a bit demoralizing. But, as find myself forced into this silence, I notice there is a lot bubbling up emotionally. So, I made a choice. A choice to...

6 steps to welcoming your sabotage

"But if these years have taught me anything it is this: You can never run away. Not ever. The only way out is in." -Junot Diaz Identities.  I mean, I'm certain I have heard the word before... But you know how you hear something that you've heard before and for some reason at one particular moment in time it lands with you in a new and different way? That describes my relationship with identities. I was at a coaching mastermind just a couple of...

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