For years, I needed to find a reason to explain the way I felt.
ESPECIALLY if the way I felt meant that I didn’t want to work.
Do you relate?
It was as though the fact that I was feeling tired wasn’t a good enough reason to rest, so I needed to search for some sort of justification.
I see this a lot with entrepreneurs.
We have so many tasks
We have multiple things we want to accomplish
There are an unending amount of items to check-off our to do lists
So if we feel *anything* other than work-driven, accomplish all the things, get it done right now, urgent energy…
We feel less than
And in order to soothe the guilt that we feel for feeling tired, we search for the justification.
It is okay for us to rest if we’re sick. We can give ourselves permission to take time off if (and only if) we are ill.
But what if we ARE tired + we’re NOT sick?
What if we’re NOT running a fever?
What if we don’t have the flu?
What if we want to rest because we are exhausted — even if we aren’t able to justify why?
What if we felt like we had permission to listen to our bodies without explaining to ourselves or anybody else why we want to do that?
I know it’s not easy to do because I know that society teaches us something 𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 different.
Society teaches us that rest is for weak people + reminds us that we can sleep when we’re dead and tells us to just push through and calls us forward to work harder + set bigger goals and GO GO GO GO!
And society teaches women that they can’t trust themselves or the needs of their bodies and that if we do, we need to have a justifiable explanation.
So of course we believe we have to explain how we feel.
There’s nothing wrong with you if you’re not able to rest “guilt-free”.
The guilt we experience is a normal, conditioned response.
Your response is a reaction to the programming of our don’t stop can’t stop culture.
And it’s part of the reason that many of the women I know and work with are…
On the verge of burnout
In desperate need of a break
Struggling with autoimmune disease
Not asking for help
Telling themselves they can’t slow down
Convinced that nothing will get done if they don’t do it
Dismissing their own dreams + desires
All of it makes sense.
Until we detox from the programming that has trained us to believe that our work equals our worth, it will not be okay for us to rest.
The switch is not easy (it took me years!) and for many of us with cultural, generational, and individual traumas, it’s more complex.
BUT IT IS POSSIBLE.